I am going to share something that is on my mind. It is related to two incidents I observed this past Tuesday. I was pretty fired up about it for the first 24 hours, but I think I have sufficiently calmed down enough to speak rationally.

First, let me qualify my position. I am a middle aged mom. My oldest child is almost 20 and my youngest is 10. I have nearly 20 years of parenting experience. I have also been around elementary age children every school day for the past three years.

I have summed up my parenting philosophy in one simple sentence and I have said it many times to others.

“You parent out of who you are.”

I’ve gone from reading all the parenting books, and being afraid of ruining my children and being an utter failure at parenting to this simple philosophy.

“You parent out of who you are.”

The two incidents I observed involved two mothers and how they parented their children.

It gave me some clear insight into who these dear women are. And my heart breaks for them.
They are women who simply do not understand that they have the responsibility to civilize the next generation of humans.

Greater than giving their children self esteem, choices, autonomy, praise, gluten free, pasture raised, essential oil, Amber necklaces, cloth diapers, or dance, piano, and violin lessons, mothers must understand that their primary mission is to raise a civilization.

It is not about themselves and their fulfillment or their experience, it is about what they are doing for the world.

So when a mother insists on a four year old’s obedience for the twenty thousandth time it’s not because she is a mean control freak, it’s because she is teaching her son that “No” means “No” every single time…no games, no power struggle. Her son will respect that girl when he is a teenager, the beautiful bride who walks down the aisle to him, and every other woman he encounters in his life.

And when a mother swiftly and surely, and I will add terribly, nips her seven year old daughter’s disrespectful attitude and words as soon as they pop up, she has just taught her daughter that people, even a mom, is worthy of respect.

Parenting is the hardest job a woman will ever have. It will make you an old woman and it feels like it is killing you by a thousand cuts.

But guess what?

The world is depending on your steely determination to tame your little monster…To be gentle when all you want to do is throw him out the window….To give him hugs and kisses when he falls down…and to spank his little behind when he gives you that look that challenges your calling in his life.

I will leave you with a little story that happened maybe 15 years ago. I was lamenting to my sister-in-law about how surprised I was at how hard parenting is and how uncivilized my darling little boys were. She gave a spontaneous little laugh and said, “Well, that’s why they have mothers!”

Yes, indeed!

Happy Mother’s Day to all you women who have submitted to the great work and discipline of motherhood!